Man-Thing (2005)

Man-Thing: Directed by Brett Leonard. With Matthew Le Nevez, Rachael Taylor, Jack Thompson, Rawiri Paratene. Agents of an oil tycoon vanish while exploring a swamp marked for drilling. The local sheriff investigates and faces a Seminole legend come to life: Man-Thing, a shambling swamp-monster whose touch burns those who feel fear.

“Well this is excrement. Itu0026#39;s supposedly about the Marvel Comics character Man-Thing but, in reality, itu0026#39;s a cheap little TV-quality grade-Z horror movie that has very little in common with the comics. Even then, there could be some value in this if it had even the slightest bit of talent behind it. But it doesnu0026#39;t and it sucks. The writing, acting, directing, special effects, music, and pretty much every single other thing you could think of is generic and cheap. The basic plot is that thereu0026#39;s a creature in the swamp killing horny teenagers so the townu0026#39;s new sheriff investigates. This guyu0026#39;s the clichéd u0026quot;big city cop turned country sheriffu0026quot; character that has appeared in about ten thousand movies. He looks like a cross between Ed Westwick and a young Peter Deluise, so you can imagine what a commanding presence he has. He shows up in the bayou wearing a leather jacket and shades while toothless yokels say things like u0026quot;You city boys shore are funny.u0026quot; Please. Honestly, just donu0026#39;t with this. Itu0026#39;s garbage in every way. If you enjoy shitty made-for-TV/DVD horror movies then go right ahead and poison yourself with this stuff. Iu0026#39;d rather find something more productive to do with my time, like staring at the sun. Oh and Rachael Tayloru0026#39;s in this. Because it was made in Australia. Because that looks just like Louisiana. Because weu0026#39;re all idiots.”