A Dream House (2023)

A Dream House (2023). 1h 23m

“A movie that I wish I could give a negative 10…..u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003ePainfully bad. Iu0026#39;m betting none of the actors are even actors, especially Gervase Peterson, who played the mayor. A friend of the director or maybe a homeless person (see his photo and youu0026#39;ll see why I think thar) who agreed to do this movie for food.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe u0026quot;actorsu0026quot; who played the couple who bought the house are just about as bad, although the husband, Jon Hacker, is, at least, gorgeous. Iu0026#39;m betting thatu0026#39;s why heu0026#39;s in this movie. The director picked him for his looks, and certainly not his acting ability. I mean he doesnu0026#39;t even have a headshot on IMDb, which furthers my theory. Iu0026#39;m telling you these people are so bad, they cannot be actors. They just canu0026#39;t. I mean Iu0026#39;ve seen community theater in a small town with incredible acting. People who act for free because they love it. So why in the world wouldnu0026#39;t they pick one of those people instead of these three? Thatu0026#39;s why I think these are not professional actors at all, but weu0026#39;re doing a favor for a friend, probably the director, and getting paid in pizza.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eOf course the script is simply wretched. They had nothing to work with. Meryl Streep and Robert Downey Jr couldnu0026#39;t have done anything with the script. Stilted dialogue that does not sound in any way like real people talking. It is like the screenplay writer had never actually heard real people talk before. It would be laughable if it wasnu0026#39;t so painful. Did anybody read this script, or did they just adlib and make it up as they went along?u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eFor instance, the couple walk down the hallway upstairs and say, u0026quot;Letu0026#39;s check out the master bedroom,u0026quot; and how did they know it was a bedroom? Then theyu0026#39;re sitting on the edge of this bed and the husband says, u0026quot;Oh, I think thatu0026#39;s the master bathroom.u0026quot; Oh really? And how does he know that? They havenu0026#39;t been in any other room upstairs. There could be a bedroom twice as big as the one they are in. Then in the bathroom they see the bathtub is filled full of brown water and instead of just pulling the chain to get it to drain, he sticks his hand down in that nasty stuff to unplug the plug. What the heck is that about?u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eYou see what I mean? If itu0026#39;s that easy to pick this movie apart twenty minutes in, do I even force myself to watch the rest of this thing?u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe wife doesnu0026#39;t want to use any of the furniture thatu0026#39;s in the house. Why? I can see why she doesnu0026#39;t want to use someone elseu0026#39;s bedding, but why wouldnu0026#39;t you use the big beautiful furniture? Husband says that we can go pick out some furniture together. Well donu0026#39;t they have any furniture? We know theyu0026#39;ve been together for two years at this point. What are they using for furniture now? Why do they need any furniture? We havenu0026#39;t been told with their last place burned down or anything.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe music is terrible. Absolutely terrible. As if the person who did the music just ran their fingers up and down the keyboard. Like anybody could have done. And thatu0026#39;s all the music seems to be. One keyboard. Maybe itu0026#39;s just some program they bought online? And there isnu0026#39;t even anybody writing the music? That would make sense.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI wonu0026#39;t say anything else about this movie except run! Do not watch! It is time you will never regain. Watch paint dry instead.”