Royal Kill (2009)

Royal Kill (2009). 1h 30m | PG-13

“So my wife goes online and the films rated 4/5 stars on our local rental site, so she sends me out to get it. I wish Iu0026#39;d bothered to read the stars names. If Iu0026#39;d known Eric Roberts was the leading star, I would have never picked it up.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAfter a confusingly stupid intro that would be an insult to the intelligence of anyone who has read a menu at Wendyu0026#39;s, ten minutes into the movie, we still have no idea whatu0026#39;s going on. Other notable points, sometimes the video looks like itu0026#39;s shot with a cheap handycam, the sound is awful when theyu0026#39;re inside, the acting is painful…thereu0026#39;s basically zero plot, fine, I can deal with it (I knew it was an action movie when I rented it) , Iu0026#39;ll fast forward to the action… 5 minutes fast forwarding at 30x speed.. no action… another 2 minutes, finally! an action scene! Back to normal speed, and… what a disappointment. Thereu0026#39;s no real fight, just some shadowing stuff and then a guy jumps through a candy glass door. Wow… take that Ninja assassin!! 30 seconds later, Iu0026#39;m off the couch and back on my way to the video store to demand a refund or replacement. The rental clerk says, we usually donu0026#39;t do exchanges.. I explain how bad it was to him and that I only watched about 15 minutes before turning it off, so he makes an exception. He says next time just say itu0026#39;s scratched or something. I think to myself, If Iu0026#39;d scratched the DVD, I would have been doing the world a huge favor!!”