Bikini Pirates (Video 2006)

Bikini Pirates (Video 2006). Bikini Pirates: Directed by Fred Olen Ray. With Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo, Beverly Lynne, Randy Spears. Two couples find a sexy pirate queen's magical journal with treasure map, and they conjure her up while hunting her treasure.

“Yet another, but unfortunately one of the worst of Fred Olen Rayu0026#39;s (aka Nicholas Medina) u0026quot;Bikiniu0026quot; series of softcore films that stay in constant rotation on Cinemax. If you seen any of the previous films (e.g. u0026quot;Bikini Round-Upu0026quot;, u0026quot;Bikini Chain Gangu0026quot;), you know what to expect. A silly but moderately amusing comic spoof of some movie genre, a cast made up from Fredu0026#39;s band of regulars whou0026#39;ve found a niche, and six good solid simulated sex scenes. As always, itu0026#39;s a big budget (for softcore porn) film that actually has a plot, action, sets, costumes, special effects (albeit cheesy), outdoor scenes, all new footage, etc. as opposed to all those softcore films which are nothing but several actors sitting around a house talking and having sex, sometimes with archive footage slipped in.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThis time out the gang is spoofing Pirate, treasure hunt and séance movies, and the real problem is that the comic writing is just not very funny. Oh, thereu0026#39;s a handful of really funny lines, but most of the jokes fall flat, and most of the scenes that donu0026#39;t include the two pirates are unfunny and even boring. It might have worked better if they all had been transported back to the time of the pirates instead of the pirates showing up in the present. But they would have needed a ship (and an even bigger budget).u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThereu0026#39;s no problem with the acting. The cast is all veterans (except for Cassie Young who doesnu0026#39;t really have any lines), and itu0026#39;s not the delivery, itu0026#39;s the jokes that are off this time.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eOn the upside, Rebecca Love is awesome as Morganna the Pirate Queen. I just loved her in the pirate dress, the red hair, the dark red lipstick and speaking with the silly pirate accent. She can make me walk the plank anytime. I still hoping that Rebecca start getting bigger roles in Fredu0026#39;s flicks as Iu0026#39;m a bit tired of Nicole and Beverly.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAs for the simulated sex scenes, the u0026quot;Bikiniu0026quot; flicks always do a pretty good job, but this time the sex scenes are even better than normal, especially if you like girl on girl action or an occasional drop of hot wax on your nipples. The scenes are also quite long, which is a plus.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eOverall… just not funny enough to watch, but fast forward to the sex scenes and any scene with Morganna the Pirate Queen.”