Colonials (2023). Colonials: Directed by Andrew Balek, Joe Bland. With Daniel Roebuck, Sean Kanan, Timothy E. Goodwin, Jamie Bernadette. A space colonist traveling from Mars crash lands on Earth to save a Resistance stuck in the dark ages from an advance Moon enforcer – and the galaxy from human extinction.
“Right, well the poster/cover for the 2023 sci-fi movie u0026quot;Colonialsu0026quot; definitely seemed interesting, plus the movieu0026#39;s synopsis also seemed interesting. And that was essentially sufficient to make me sit down and watch u0026quot;Colonialsu0026quot;, and usually I am not overly keen on sci-fi movies.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAnd after suffering through 18 minutes of this movie, I gave up. I simply just couldnu0026#39;t take more of the dumpster fire that was u0026quot;Colonialsu0026quot;. Seriously, how does something as atrocious as this get to see the light of day in 2023?u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe storyline in the movie, well based on the synopsis seemed okay. But after just 18 minutes of laughable CGI and insanely wooden acting, I have to admit that I donu0026#39;t know what the storyline was about. Nor do I actually care anymore.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe acting performances in u0026quot;Colonialsu0026quot; were wooden, rigid, sluggish and amateurish. And everything was filmed at a green screen, and it was painstakingly obvious. I gave up on the movie after watching leading actor Greg Kriek (playing Silas) perform the most laughable scream of terror ever performed on screen whilst inside an atrociously rendered CGI vehicle.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eNeedless to say that I wasnu0026#39;t familiar with the cast ensemble, not that there were a lot of performers on the screen in the 18 minutes of sheer torture I sat through. But I perused IMDb after turning off the movie to check who was on the cast list. Not a single familiar face or name on the list.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eNow, what really amazed me about u0026quot;Colonialsu0026quot; was the God awful CGI that was used for virtually everything in the movie, aside from the actors and actresses that were on the screen. Everything was green screen. Terrible green screen, mind you. The CGI was flat, lacking texture and just moved in rigid and awkward manners. It looked worse than a PC game from the 1990s. It was, actually, so horrible to look at that it just drained away all will to watch the movie. How does such horrible CGI get a thumbs up in 2023?u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI doubt that even the most hardcore of sci-fi fans will actually get any enjoyment out of watching directors Andrew Balek and Joe Blandu0026#39;s 2023 movie u0026quot;Colonialsu0026quot;.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThis was without a doubt the worst movie experience of 2023 so far. The best thing about this project from writers Joe Bland and Cyrus Cheek was actually the cover/poster. This is definitely not a movie that I would recommend you waste your time, money or effort on.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eMy rating of u0026quot;Colonialsu0026quot; lands on a well-deserved one out of ten stars.”