Scarecrows (1988)

Scarecrows: Directed by William Wesley. With Ted Vernon, Michael David Simms, Richard Vidan, Kristina Sanborn. Criminals hijack a plane and force the pilot and his daughter to fly them to Mexico. However, an unexpected landing finds them in a cemetery inhabited by killer scarecrows.

“OK, look. In my opinion, there are five catagories of horror films.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eGRADE A – These are films like u0026quot;The Exorcist,u0026quot; u0026quot;Silence of the Lambs,u0026quot; u0026quot;The Shining,u0026quot; u0026quot;Rosemaryu0026#39;s Baby,u0026quot; etc. They are usually bigger budget horror films that have managed to escape the giant cookie cutter of Hollywood due to such visionaries as Stanley Kubrick and Roman Polanski.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eGRADE B – These are lower budget films like u0026quot;Halloween,u0026quot; and u0026quot;Night of the Living Dead.u0026quot; The good ones work because they are directed by such visionaries as John Carpenter and George Romero.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eGRADE C – These can be either big budget or low budget. Most of them suck big time, but once in a while a u0026quot;guilty pleasureu0026quot; comes along like The Howling,u0026quot; u0026quot;Texas Chainsaw Massacre,u0026quot; or u0026quot;The Evil Dead 2.u0026quot; In other words, no one is saying theyu0026#39;re great films, but there is enough originality and/or inspired lunacy to make it worthwhile.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003enGRADE D – Trash filmmaking. Films like u0026quot;Leprechaun,u0026quot; u0026quot;Witchboard 5,u0026quot; u0026quot;Puppet Master,u0026quot; etc etc. These are just plain bad films, but they defy criticism because there is an audience out there who just like to watch people die.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003enGRADE Z – These are usually straight to video films with the word u0026quot;zombieu0026quot; or u0026quot;bloodu0026quot; in the title.u0026quot; I donu0026#39;t typically watch Grade D or Z movies, but apparently many people do.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eu0026quot;Scarecrowsu0026quot; is a Grade Z movie disguised as a Grade D movie. Itu0026#39;s got high enough production values to manage a D rating, but the story, characters, pacing, direction, and special effects are strictly Grade Z.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI saw several good reviews of this movie on IMDB and hoped that maybe Iu0026#39;d discovered a rare gem. Iu0026#39;m always optimistic about finding a new discovery like the original u0026quot;Ringu0026quot; from Japan, or the underrated u0026quot;Dogs of Waru0026quot; from England.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003enBelieve me, folks. u0026quot;Scarecrowsu0026quot; ainu0026#39;t no gem.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI personally found the film to be unwatchable. About half way through, I stared to fast forward through parts. It was THAT awful…and worse, BORING.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eIu0026#39;ve seen better character motivation and acting on UPN sitcoms and the story is thinner than Bruce Willisu0026#39; hair. Actually, there IS no story. Itu0026#39;s just a bunch of alleged paramilitary types running around…talking a lot (with amateurish dialogue)…and getting killed by stuntmen dressed like high-school-production scarecrows.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003enThese filmmakers donu0026#39;t understand any of the rules of horror. There is no BUILD of suspense. There are no characters to invest in. There is nothing to interest you except the anticipation of the credits rolling at the end.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eIf you like amateurish movies, with shoddy production values, uninspired direction, and zero plot, then by all means watch this film.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eBut for those of you who truly appreciate a good horror film, go rent something youu0026#39;ve already seen twice before. Actually go watch some paint dry or grass grow. I guarantee it will be more interesting than this stinker.”