Mystery Model (1994)

Mystery Model: Directed by Julie Cypher. With C. Thomas Howell, Nancy McKeon, Lou Diamond Phillips, Casey Siemaszko. Mathematician Teresa just wanted to study during the College spring break. But her friends, who want her to live a little, drag her out to parties. The next thing she knows, she has been drugged, kidnapped, made a redhead, tattooed, and wearing leather?!? Her captors seem to be the most inept crooks ever. They seem to have a plan, if only she could figure out why it involves her.

“Teresau0026#39;s Tattoo was Julie Cypheru0026#39;s second and last effort as a director we can all hope. My guess is that Lou Diamond Phillips, her husband at the time must have cashed in a bunch of favors from his Hollywood friends to get his wife this gig as a feature director. Her first effort was a short back in 1990.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eA whole lot of people who came to prominence in the Eighties were gathered together for this inept comedy about a pair of doppleganger girls, one of whom dies while in the custody of kidnappers. Seems as though sheu0026#39;s wearing earrings that contain holograph messages with data on the space program. Though who might have wanted it in 1995 with the Cold War over is beyond me.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAnyway poor Adrienne Shelley who plays the dead original kidnap victim and her lookalike who some gangsters hired by the Feds (yes, you read that right)grab instead because they think this is a ransom snatch proves a good deal smarter than any of the people trying to kidnap or rescue her. Sheu0026#39;s a math major, what would you expect? u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThis film is like a class reunion, look at the cast members, C. Thomas Howell, Casey Siemaszko, Nancy McKeon, Lou Diamond Phillips, Matt Adler, Joe Pantoliano, all came up about ten years earlier. Even Kiefer Sutherland has an unbilled part as a deputy sheriff and he could certainly be considered a contemporary.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe jokes fall flatter than Dorothy Galeu0026#39;s Kansas plains, everyone looks pained, some like Lou Diamond Phillips who know theyu0026#39;re in a gobble gobble contest make up for it by overacting outrageously. Lou looked like he was in dress rehearsal for the part he had in The Big Hit which was a much funnier film.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eKiefer Sutherland was the smartest guy in the bunch, he didnu0026#39;t take any billing for this.”