White Fire – Der Todesdiamant (1984)

White Fire – Der Todesdiamant: Directed by Jean-Marie Pallardy. With Robert Ginty, Fred Williamson, Belinda Mayne, Jess Hahn. Two Russian siblings living in Istanbul, Turkey, who work in the diamond fencing business, scheme to steal the newly discovered legendary diamond White Fire, but their rivals have other plans in mind.

“The plot for White Fire is utterly atrocious, the direction stinks, and the acting is diabolical, and yet thereu0026#39;s still quite a bit of fun to be had with this goofy u0026#39;80s action film starring straight-to-video tough-guy Robert Ginty.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe film opens with a family trying to escape from Russia. The mother is shot and the father incinerated by flamethrower, but the two kids, Bo and Ingrid, are helped by a friendly smuggler called Sam (Jess Hahn), who raises them and teaches them the art of thievery. Twenty years later, and Sam, Bo (Ginty) and Ingrid (Belinda Mayne) are working a racket at a Turkish diamond mine (regulation uniform: red or blue jumpsuit with black and gold accessories), but other parties also want in on the action, especially when the worldu0026#39;s biggest diamond, the White Fire, is discovered in one of the old tunnels (although Iu0026#39;m not sure what they intend to do with a highly radioactive diamond that burns anyone who touches it).u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eSo far so mediocre, but the film gets more interesting once a group of Italian criminals led by Sophia (played by the beautiful but not very talented Mirella Banti) enter the picture and try to relieve Bo and Ingrid of their latest haul of gems: a fight breaks out that sees Bo stabbing two men with a knife and picking up a handy chainsaw to slice one guy in the leg and another in the stomach; meanwhile, Ingrid impales a guy with a boat-hook. Our hero and heroine arenu0026#39;t averse to killing when necessary, providing the film with cheapo gore galore, the action accompanied by a really naff theme song: great stuff!u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eShortly after, the White Fire is discovered in an abandoned part of the mine, and one-time peplum star Gordon Mitchell (modelling the red jumpsuit) uses a pickaxe to kill the man who found it. Mitchellu0026#39;s acting might even be worse than Bantiu0026#39;s.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThat evening, Bo is chatting to Sam, who is preparing food while Ingrid takes a naked swim in the pool. When dinner is served, Bo goes to find Ingrid, which is when we get the filmu0026#39;s most memorable scene – unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. Ingrid is showering naked when Bo surprises her by shaking the leaves of a bush. And talking of bush, Bo makes sure he gets a good look at his sisteru0026#39;s by whipping off her towel. As if that wasnu0026#39;t creepy enough, he makes sleazy remarks such as u0026#39;You sure donu0026#39;t look like anybodyu0026#39;s kid sister any more, do you?u0026#39; and u0026#39;You know, itu0026#39;s a pity youu0026#39;re my sisteru0026#39;. Yes, our hero has an incestuous yearning for his sibling (admittedly, sheu0026#39;s got a rocking body, but even so…).u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eInstead of dropping the dodgy incest angle, the film pursues it further after Ingrid is murdered by bad guys (no, Bo doesnu0026#39;t turn to necrophilia, but what follows is still quite perverted). While drowning his sorrows at a bar, Bo meets a woman named Olga (Diana Goodman) who bears a passing resemblance to his dead sister. When Sam meets the woman, he hatches a plot to steal the White Fire that involves Olga getting plastic surgery to make her look even more like Ingrid. Olga agrees to the operation – she is being hunted by a ruthless criminal called Noah (Fred Williamson), so this is the perfect answer to her problem – and emerges as Ingridu0026#39;s doppelganger (played by Mayne again), after which she and Bo develop a romantic relationship. Looks like Bo will get to boff his u0026#39;sisteru0026#39; after all!u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe filmu0026#39;s finalé sees everyone converging at the diamond mine for a chaotic gun battle featuring plenty of bloody squibs, explosions, and some injurious stunts (one guy catching fire during an explosion didnu0026#39;t look planned to me). To ensure that his audience is left totally non-plussed, director Jean-Marie Pallardy has the White Fire spontaneously explode, meaning that no-one gets the prize. Well, no-one except for Bo, who walks into the sunset with Olga/Ingrid, no doubt planning to satisfy his incestuous urges.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eWhile White Fire is unlikely to appeal to the average movie fan, those who enjoy trash cinema should find the filmu0026#39;s clumsy storytelling and more exploitative elements quite entertaining. Oh, and anyone with a moustache fetish will be in heaven: both Ginty and Williamson sport impressive u0026#39;taches, as do most of the male extras. 5.5/10, rounded up to 6 for Gintyu0026#39;s lilac scarf – quite a bold choice for an u0026#39;80s action hero.”