Stem Cell (2009)

Stem Cell: Directed by David DeCoteau. With Dee Wallace, Darcy Fowers, Brian Gross, Jason-Shane Scott. While recovering from an emotional trauma, Rita heads to the mountains to recuperate where she encounters the horrifying results of a scientist’s experiments in stem cells.

“If you didnu0026#39;t know the title of the movie coming in, you wouldnu0026#39;t know which DeCoteau movie you were watching. Once again we have the exact same silly tropes: pretty young people go to a secluded wooded location (yes, he shot this at the same exact place as his last six movies) and bad things happen, interspersed with random shirtlessness, the u0026quot;scaryu0026quot; dream sequences punctuated by a heartbeat in the background, and the obligatory three-minute shower scene, where a hot young guy rubs his abs and chest over and over. (They still havenu0026#39;t figured out: it works better if you use soap.) u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI was about a third of the way through this movie, more bored than usual, when I realized with horror what the best part of David DeCoteauu0026#39;s films was: the copious amount of male shirtlessness. Itu0026#39;s like Skinemax for the gays. Stem Cell takes a decidedly hetero bent, and basically jettisons the only redeeming quality of a DeCoteau movie: rampant homoeroticism. At least Beastly Boyz was bad enough to be mockable; this movie is just boring.”