Sahara (1983)

Sahara: Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen, John Guillermin. With Brooke Shields, Lambert Wilson, Horst Buchholz, John Rhys-Davies. Intent on winning a competition in place of her distinguished late father, beautiful young heiress Dale takes on the guise of a man and competes in his spot, embarking on a car race that crosses the unforgiving Sahara desert.

“Ludicrous bodice-ripper starring the wooden Brook Shields as the kind of plucky romantic heroine who can change outfits in mid-kidnapping. Features such silliness as nomadic Bedouin chiefs who keep stone dungeons on hand, other Bedouin who have frosted lipstick and gold lame party outfits lying around, more Bedouin going on a human hunt using leopards instead of hounds (the leopards are kept on leashes where they canu0026#39;t chase anything), hairstyles that range from 1910 to 1983 (story set in the 1920u0026#39;s), incredible continuity problems with the trans-Sahara race that forms the basis of the plot (Brooke spends about a week in one spot, and suddenly the other drivers all appear at once; her two assistants appear and disappear randomly) etc. etc.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eJust about the dumbest, silliest, most badly acted, worst plotted excuse for a movie youu0026#39;ll ever see. Young Brooke Shields is so bad that you swear she couldnu0026#39;t get the lead in a a high school play, much less a real movie. Even by the low standards of the romance genre, itu0026#39;s pathetic.”