Hooligans (2005)

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Hooligans: Directed by Lexi Alexander. With Elijah Wood, Charlie Hunnam, Claire Forlani, Marc Warren. A wrongfully expelled Harvard undergrad moves to London, where he is introduced to the violent underworld of football hooliganism.

“I am homeless. One day I was drinking vodka and loitering with my dog Sporky when I heard loud noises nearby. I suffered a flashback to u0026#39;nam and when I woke up I was apparently at a showing of this movie. I later found out that they had mistaken me for one of the extras judging by my disheveled appearance and the alcohol on my breath.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThis is a fantastic movie. I will list my reasons in order of importance, 1 being the most important.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003e1. There are ugly women wearing shorts. That is my fetish. I secretly admired the butterface leading lady while pretending to check my cellphone. I donu0026#39;t have a cellphone.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003e2. Zombies are cool. The zombies reminded me of the time I got really messed up on bath salts and killed another homeless man. The police canu0026#39;t prove anything.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003e3. The loud, mediocre music overwhelmed my brain and allowed me to briefly forget about watching my comrades die in the jungle.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003e4. I know a couple of other homeless people who u0026quot;actedu0026quot; in this movie in exchange for beer. You know some of those u0026quot;zombiesu0026quot; who suddenly vomited all over themselves and died choking on their own blood? They werenu0026#39;t acting. RIP Slinky, Wozniak, and Crazy Mary. It was nice to see them immortalized on the silver screen.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003e5. It didnu0026#39;t last too long so I managed to watch the entire movie without wetting myself or having heroin withdrawals.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI give this movie an A+ and a 1 out of 10 for number 1.”

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