Self Storage (2013)

Self Storage: Directed by Tom DeNucci. With Eric Roberts, Jonathan Silverman, Michael Berryman, Thea Trinidad. The friends of a night watchman, at a highly secured self storage facility, are home from college and looking to party.

“Iu0026#39;m not one to use hyperbole a lot when reviewing films. I never use u0026quot;worst movie everu0026quot; or u0026quot;this movie makes me want to rip my eyes outu0026quot;, etc. That said, this movie is awful. Although itu0026#39;s probably not the worst Iu0026#39;ve ever seen, itu0026#39;s the worst all-around film Iu0026#39;ve seen in a long time. By all-around I mean the acting, writing, directing, music, editing…the works. Itu0026#39;s all bad with no real bright spot at all.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eWithout giving anything away, the film follows a young guy who works at a storage facility who decides to invite friends over to his job to have a small party after hours. Soon, the carnage begins and the party turns into a fight for survival. The filmmakers try their hardest to make the plot more than just a slasher film but their idea falls completely flat and begs for answers to logical questions…these questions are never answered as a result, I suspect, of lazy filmmaking. For example (of lazy filmmaking), in the first five minutes of the film, you see the main character playing guitar, smoking weed, and basically acting like a slacker. This montage during the credits is meant to tell us that this is the cool guy–but like any bad filmmaker–they use a series of stereotypical actions to show us this fact. u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThis model of using stereotypes is pretty much followed for every character in the film. So much so that some characters donu0026#39;t even appear to act like human beings, but cartoonish stereotypes of the type of person they are trying to portray. Even Eric Roberts seems embarrassed to be seen in this film. He has a very difficult time keeping his part together surrounded by such horrible acting. u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe music is awful. Just crappy rock and alternative numbers that are probably songs from a band the director knows. They use the music like films from the 90u0026#39;s during suspenseful scenes: Play some generic metal guitar riff during chase scenes and some horrible rock song (with words!) during scenes you want us to believe have tension. Yes, itu0026#39;s that bad.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eYou get the idea here. This is a bad film. I would suggest only watching this if you are looking for a u0026quot;what not to do in filmmakingu0026quot; example or if you like to torture yourself with laughable movies. Otherwise, beware.”