Darkroom (1989)
7KDarkroom: Directed by Terrence O’Hara, Nico Mastorakis. With Aarin Teich, Jill Pierce, Jeff Arbaugh, Sara Lee Wade. Looking for revenge for past incenstous experiences, a slasher invades a lonely farmhouse.
“Dark Room was produced by Nico Mastorakis who himself has directed a number of underground genre pieces. His credits include Island of death, Edge of terror and the stalk and slash themed thriller Blind Date. This obscure late eighties effort generally keeps its roots in the murder-mystery sub-category that Mastorakis is so fond of working with. It includes enough of the typical clichés to make it one of those slasher/thrillers that were commonplace throughout the decade, although the cover description would lead you to believe that itu0026#39;s a tale of sexual repression and revenge.u0026#39;(!)u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003enJanet (Jill Pierce) is an attractive teen thatu0026#39;s returning home to her family farm after a long stay with her outrageously mulleted boyfriend Steve (Jeffrey Alan Arbaugh). Sheu0026#39;s picked a bad time to come back, because an unseen someone has just murdered a cheery blonde and her husband with an axe, only a few miles away. The killer watched his victims through a camera before hacking them up and then taking photos of their bloodied corpses as they lay lifeless on the floor. When Janet arrives we get to meet the rest of the Templeton family that consists of a whole heap of likely suspects or would-be-psychopaths. Firstly thereu0026#39;s Steve the boyfriend (mullet), whou0026#39;s a professional photographer by trade and makes strange disappearances every time someone gets killed. Mark (Allen Leiberman) is Janetu0026#39;s cousin who apparently wanders of all the time and disappears for hours on end.u0026#39; His brother Perry (Aarin Teich) seems a little mysterious and likes to keep quiet. Paulau0026#39;s (Abigail Lenz) apparently gone missing, whilst her boyfriend George (Timothy Hicks) was always a little on the wild side.u0026#39; Grandpa (John Ou0026#39; Connor) takes an incriminating runner every time the Sheriff stops to talk to him, and their mother Nora (Stella Kastner) seems to be a little too tense for my liking! Cindy (Sara Lee Wade) is the cute and cheeky blonde younger sister thatu0026#39;s hardly mass-murderer material but says, very saucily, that she would like to help Steve find his fishing pole!u0026#39; Hmmm, sounds like trouble! After they all share dinner, Janet takes a shower (well someone would have to) stripping completely naked with only a thin window net to cover her modesty. With timing that train passengers would kill for, up pops the psycho photographer, brashly leaning a ladder against the porch so he can climb up and get some snaps of the soap splashed teen in all her glory. He then proceeds to get in the house and open her suitcase, before playing touchy-feely with her underwear (luckily he refrained from sniffing them!) The next day, relativesu0026#39; start getting murdered by the mystery cameraman who seems to have his eyes (or lenses) on Janet, which means that she must be the true object of his insanity u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eDark Room is one of the ever-increasing numbers of yawn-inducing whodunits that have very little – if anything to redeem taking the time to watch them. The basic problem is that Terrence Ou0026#39;Hara has spent so much time trying to make an intriguing mystery that heu0026#39;s forgotten the fundamental elements that are necessary to make a good film – Structure and pace, and this doesnu0026#39;t have either. The puzzle may have rated this higher if the killer wasnu0026#39;t clearly shown on the front cover, which pretty much ruins any point in seeing this at all. Woeful amateur porn-star acting didnu0026#39;t help matters and the only character with any charisma was the charming little Cindy. Her cheeky flirtatious persona was rather appealing, she was at least a lot better than the bimbo left to battle the killer who lacked any allurement whatsoever.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eYouu0026#39;ve got more chance of seeing Jill Pierce win an Oscar than you have of finding any gore or suspense in this rubbish. Most murders are committed off screen and on occasion youu0026#39;ll see a shot of the corpses splashed in blood after the deed has been done. (Wow!) The movie could have ended quite satisfactorily at the sixty-minute mark but instead it drags on for another twenty-two, which was not only unnecessary, but it was also extremely unpleasant. At least the pathetic script managed to spawn the odd inadvertent giggle by its outright stupidity. The movie is rife with dialogue like `I donu0026#39;t trust air that I canu0026#39;t seeu0026#39; (what?), but even so, itu0026#39;s hardly worth paying for.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe fact that this is an obscurity from the eighties will invite most completists to hunt it down for nothing but the fact that itu0026#39;s rare. But be warned it really doesnu0026#39;t warrant a purchase when the murders are so lackadaisical and the dramatics are simply horrid. Itu0026#39;s not even really a teen-kill movie; itu0026#39;s more thriller than Halloween inspired hack and slasher. Itu0026#39;s not only really bad, but itu0026#39;s also painfully boring, so I really recommend that you give it a miss. Try one of Mastorakisu0026#39; better efforts instead.”
