I Married a Strange Person! (1997)

I Married a Strange Person!: Directed by Bill Plympton. With Charis Michelsen, Tom Larson, Richard Spore, Chris Cooke. A newlywed develops a strange lump on his neck that gives him the ability to transform people or objects at will. His wife is very upset. Meanwhile, the CEO of Smilecorp learns of this man and his ability and sees a way to achieve world domination if only the man can be taken alive.

“That old Walter Huston hit u0026quot;September Songu0026quot; is the basis for the majority of what constitutes Lesbian Cinema: mature divas humping sweet young ladies. A veteran of the Sapphic wars herself, Nica Noelle wearing her new hat as doyenne of Hardcore Gay Romance adapts the formula to the world of boy/boy video in this second edition of a sure-fire formula.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eOpening segment does take some chances, though Iu0026#39;m sure the right-wing censors out there have other fish to fry. Nica slips in rape (man-to-man, of course) as her subject matter, even though itu0026#39;s considered a no-no in todayu0026#39;s timid porn climate. Her favorite mature actor Adam Russo is utterly convincing as a condescending realtor who is frankly insulting to his would-be client Wolf Hudson, after Wolf shows up late for an appointment and presents himself looking more like a homeless stiff than a wealthy house-hunter.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eRusso has not kept up with the modern world, where most of those $1,000-plus bottles of wines listed on high-toned restaurant menus are consumed by rappers and other rock stars who might dress in hoodies or jump suits, rather than Armani-outfitted Masters of the Universe from Wall Street. Those days of the unlimited expense account are over.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eSo Wolf is none too happy with such treatment from a working stiff he can buy and sell ten times over, throws the older fellow up against the wall and humps him. Rape is rape, but in this porn context Nica finagles it as sort of consensual, as Adam is oohing and ahhing before long and definitely enjoying being the bottom to Wolfu0026#39;s top. As is her usual style, after both deliver money shots on Adamu0026#39;s convenient belly we get a fade-out rather than a denouement for the two at-odds characters.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe other three vignettes are romantic rather than violent. Most cryptic is bear Matt Stevens making love to younger (but not very young looking) Sean Cross. Though the DVD back liner mentions u0026quot;forbidden romanceu0026quot; thereu0026#39;s no concrete indication of whatu0026#39;s wrong or problematic about their hooking up.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eNicau0026#39;s matinée idol Nick Capra makes love to a young worker at his house played by Hunter Page. The boy comes into the house having slammed his hand accidentally with a hammer -cue the u0026quot;hurt pawu0026quot; sentimentality. A kinder, gentler than usual Capra is not above taking advantage of the kid, and Nica milks the situation by having the kid fall asleep after ice is applied to his hand -with Nick unable to resist fondling and seducing Hunter. This is a sensual scene but I found its tongue-in-cheek overtones, including verbal double entendres, to be rather obvious.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eFinale is a bit outrageous and absurd, but merely par for the course in the uncharted new world of romantic Gay XXX, for fans used to pure gonzo. Another bear, big Brad Kalvo is lying on his bed book-ended by his two very young lovers Kory Houston and Black actor Tayveon Martin. Heu0026#39;s brought them together to u0026quot;try and get alongu0026quot;, when both of them are mad at him selfishly two-timing both of them. The subtext is clearly domination and submission, and by the time all three have shot their respective wads itu0026#39;s clear submission is the flavor of the day. u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eKoryu0026#39;s repeated purring of u0026quot;Daddy, daddyu0026quot; while the three hump is the giveaway that this Icon Male videou0026#39;s content and its title all refer to role-playing, in the u0026quot;Thatu0026#39;s my boy!u0026quot; generic form of paternalism. No, thereu0026#39;s no moment of Tayveon getting riled and yelling u0026quot;Donu0026#39;t call me boy!u0026quot;. Rather itu0026#39;s a happy little universe where solid humping overcomes jealousy and even healthy sense of self – the porn labelu0026#39;s advocacy for what might be termed Sugar Daddyism is not Nica being subversive but rather what I would construe as a subconscious internalization by porn people of their status. To quote my all-time favorite director from a different context, Sam Peckinpah famously once said about his employment as a director: u0026quot;Iu0026#39;m a whore – I go where Iu0026#39;m kickedu0026quot;. Thatu0026#39;s one memo Spielberg never received.”