Game of Assassins (2013)

Game of Assassins: Directed by Matt Eskandari. With Warren Kole, Bai Ling, Jaime Ray Newman, Dustin Nguyen. In a sunken castle underneath the earth, five strangers wake. They have no food. No memory. No water. And no way out. They must organize and band together for the sinister adventure that awaits.

“You donu0026#39;t know what awful is until youu0026#39;ve seen this film. I wasnu0026#39;t looking for a profound commentary on the human experience – I watched u0026quot;Valentineu0026#39;s Dayu0026quot; expecting 100 minutes worth of harmless and fun escapism. To say that I was disappointed is a bit of an understatement.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eTo begin with, the film is WAY too long – or perhaps it just seems like an eternity. Minute after minute, it is sickeningly sappy and sweet, without any depth of character or plot to justify its duration. The acting is for the most part atrocious – or, at best, mediocre. Taylor Swift, in a nightmarish u0026quot;comic reliefu0026quot; role, and the annoying little boy, in particular, stand out as paragons of annoying incompetence. However, the writing is so awful, even the greatest of thespians could not make this movie bearable. I honestly felt rather embarrassed for the actors, most of whom Iu0026#39;m sure are quite capable if given a half-decent script. Perhaps worst of all, u0026quot;Valentineu0026#39;s Dayu0026quot; acts like it is an eye-opening and touching study of human relationships, while itu0026#39;s really drivel.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eIf thereu0026#39;s anything Iu0026#39;d like the reader to learn from this review itu0026#39;s to avoid this film at all costs. It isnu0026#39;t good, it isnu0026#39;t even so-bad-itu0026#39;s-good – itu0026#39;s just plain dreadful.”