If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do? (1971)

If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do?: Directed by Ron Ormond. With Judy Creech, Cecil Scaife, Gene McFall, Wes Saunders. Based on the preachings of Reverend Estus W. Pirkle, this film warns what will happen to America if the citizens do not give up their depraved ways and turn to God and Jesus for salvation. Communist infiltrators, the “footmen,” will pave the way for an all-out invasion by weakening our will through TV, dance, rock music, and alcohol. Once the invasion begins, the new Communist government will proceed to round up all Christians, and either execute them or force them to undergo re-education. Only by putting their faith in the Bible where it belongs, says Reverend Pirkle, can America resist the coming Red Menace.

“Manson-era social anxieties and rabid pinko-phobia fuel this fire-and-brimstone propaganda film, which just happens to be made by a personnel of sexploitation cinema veterans. It sure as hell wonu0026#39;t save your soul, but it might lead you to wonder if prankster hippies spiked the Ogallala aquifer with premium-grade LSD…u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAccording to Southern Baptist preacher Estus Pirkle, if Americans donu0026#39;t begin living lives of Christian purity, then a communist takeover is inevitable…within the next several months(!). Television, alcohol, drugs, sex, and miniskirts are condemned in his thundering sermon, which is vividly illustrated in a number of extremely gory scenes(people senselessly gunned down, women raped, and children being beheaded and having their ears jammed full of shish-ke-bob skewers). And letu0026#39;s not forget the age-old sin of DANCING…we all know what THAT leads to, donu0026#39;t we, you shameless whore….u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThis is, without question, the most relentless assault on the senses I have ever experienced. No matter what your personal belief system may be, you *will* be nauseated, mortified, perplexed, and delighted watching this hopelessly dated cautionary paranoiac vision…a stultifying and richly rewarding viewing experience.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eHALLELUJAH!! A perfect 10.”