Hooker with a Hacksaw (2017)

Hooker with a Hacksaw: Directed by Donald Farmer, Caroline Kopko. With Kasper Meltedhair, Jason Crowe, Colleen Herkert, Steve Guynn. Kirsten is just an average girl with big problems! Problems like psycho pervs, snuff movie makers and animal masked freaks. Too bad for them Kirsten has a very big hacksaw. Now she’s out for revenge, sawing her way through the scum.

“Look…if youu0026#39;re reading this, it means the title u0026quot;Hooker With A Hacksawu0026quot; caught your eye, and if I have learned anything in life, itu0026#39;s that people who like b-movies are cooler than those who donu0026#39;t. Be that as it may, this is utterly and truly a b-movie in every way possible:nu003culu003eu003cliu003ewriting, acting, directingu003c/liu003eu003cliu003echaracter closeupsu003c/liu003eu003cliu003eschlock schlock schlocku003c/liu003eu003cliu003echeesy, not to mention absurd, musicu003c/liu003eu003cliu003etechnicals (eg lighting, editing, sound, etc)u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eu0026quot;special fxu0026quot; (if you can call them that.u003c/liu003eu003c/ulu003eSo obviously, if youu0026#39;ve come to this flick expecting GOOD ___any of the above___ then youu0026#39;re out of luck. I mean, youu0026#39;re talking about a movie that shows a woman masturbating a manu0026#39;s guts for crying out loud.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eSince I donu0026#39;t typically rehash synopses in my reviews, Iu0026#39;ll leave it at this: if you like CHEESY b-flicks (and I mean cheesy. Like three-cheese cheesy) then this might be enjoyable for you. I must admit, while the title caught my eye, it immediately made me think of the film u0026quot;Hobo With A Shotgun,u0026quot; which is both a better movie and the genesis of the title. Nonetheless, I simply couldnu0026#39;t help but be entertained from start to finish. Itu0026#39;s absurd, schlocky beyond schlock, ultra-cheesy blood u0026amp; gore fx, and has the illustrious Maiden Meltedhair – one of the cutest little things youu0026#39;ll see. Donu0026#39;t expect award-winning skills here, and donu0026#39;t bother writing a review that bags on what the film misfires on. Itu0026#39;s SUPPOSED TO BE the epitome of ultra-cheese.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eNotes on parental content:nu003culu003eu003cliu003eprofanity throughout, but not gratuitous.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eadult themes and content, including suicide, rape, and prostitution.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003edrug use is a repeating themeu003c/liu003eu003cliu003ethere is brief nudity (female breasts) in one or two scenesu003c/liu003eu003cliu003eviolence is another repeating thematic element, but the blood and u0026quot;goreu0026quot; is so over-the-top fake that you simply canu0026#39;t help but laugh when it happens.u003c/liu003eu003c/ulu003eu003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eLook…and as I mentioned…if youu0026#39;re here to see a movie with Academy Award worthy performances and talent, youu0026#39;re in the wrong place. If youu0026#39;re here to see a REALLY cheesy b-flick with horror themes, this is an excellent choice.”