Der Love Guru (2008)

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Der Love Guru: Directed by Marco Schnabel. With Jessica Simpson, Kanye West, Mike Myers, Deepak Chopra. Pitka, an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge is to settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of a star hockey player whose wife left him for a rival athlete.

“I have seen some awful movies. Movies that just arenu0026#39;t that great, arenu0026#39;t interesting, lack that certain spark that a Great Movie always has. I knew, walking in to screen this movie this morning, that this would lack that certain spark. I knew this would not be a Great Movie, but I expected it to be at least somewhat funny — it is, after all, a comedy. And as for expecting the rest of it to be stupid, well, it went above and beyond: it was absolutely ridiculous.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eGenerally, Iu0026#39;m indifferent to Mike Myersu0026#39; stupid (for lack of a better word) humor. There have been some genuinely funny moments in past movies, but you wonu0026#39;t find more than two or maybe even three in this one. The entire movie was basically sexual innuendo after innuendo after innuendo after humping elephants.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAt one point, I wanted to bash my head against a wall. This supposed u0026quot;comedyu0026quot; was absolute torture to sit through.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eBut Stephen Colbert is interesting — has a few funny lines — and Jessica Alba was very pretty. Also, Verne Troyer has quite the clever line — in the credits, that is.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI suppose one thing to say about this movie is, while not exactly in a positive light, it will likely always be in your memory, never forgotten. Although, keep in mind: seeing a movie should never hurt this much.”

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