Jin ping mei (2008)

Jin ping mei: Directed by Man Kei Chin. With Hikaru Wakana, Kaera Uehara, Serina Hayakawa, Yui Morikawa. Story is begin with the childhood of rich and powerful Simon Qing (Lam Wai-Kin) has been schooled in the ways of sex by his virile father (Tsui Siu-Keung), but is still a virgin. That is, until he meets his first love Violetta, who has fun with him all over his father’s estate. Their love does not last, so Simon embarks on a journey to, um, do something. Along the way he meets the comely nun Moon, who observes his manhood one evening by poking at it with a pair of chopsticks – thus earning the film it’s English title. Simon deflowers her and marries her, after which he becomes enamored of the small-footed Golden Lotus, who’s married to dwarf and poor Wu Da-Lang. The two conspire to get rid of him, setting up another marriage for Simon.

“For some reason, when purchasing this I thought I was buying some 70s classic just released on DVD but no this is brand new. A fantastic opening, very lush with a great fleshy scene, involving acupuncture and death. Indeed the first half hour including more couplings with more wonderful looking ladies but then the film begins to loose its way. We go from here to there, starting this, forgetting that and in the end getting completely stuck. For the last third or so we resort to slapstick and general jokiness that virtually negates all the erotic content. Very strange use of the, admittedly agile, shaven headed young lady who decides to leave the nunnery and take up with our hero. One particular scene is so shot it gives the appearance of being between two men, not presumably the intention. There is a rather touching scene with a small footed angel and this probably is worth it for the first half hour although overall it is a pretty shoddy affair that finally stops, with seeming clips from scenes that might have been intended to have been made.”