Scary Movie 5 (2013)

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Scary Movie 5: Directed by Malcolm D. Lee, David Zucker. With Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Gracie Whitton, Ava Kolker. A couple begin to experience some unusual activity after bringing their lost nieces and nephew home. With the help of home-surveillance cameras, they learn they’re being stalked by a nefarious demon.

“I really donu0026#39;t know where to even start with this, so letu0026#39;s just get started. This movie is not funny. There you go – it fails as a comedy. In addition to that, itu0026#39;s dumb, mean-spirited, and in poor taste, and I think youu0026#39;re going to agree with me about that even if you like stuff that is in poor taste. I mean, this is basically an exploitation film for weed- and gangsta rap-obsessed 13-year-olds. It covers all the bases: sex scene involving clowns and ponies, sex scene involving pool cleaning machines, dildo collections being found by small children, things getting stuck up dogsu0026#39; anuses, a scene featuring Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion or whatever he insists that people call him now) and a giant blunt, etc. Wow, this is multiplex entertainment in 2013?u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI saw the first Scary Movie and thought it was pretty amusing in places. Iu0026#39;m also a huge fan of totally absurd slapstick comedies like Airplane and the Naked Gun movies. What is it exactly that makes this film so awful where the others, at least on some level, succeeded? I canu0026#39;t think of any way to explain it except this: watching Scary MoVie is the film equivalent of eating White Castle sliders for an hour and a half, washing them down with a gallon of Mountain Dew, topping it all off with seven pounds of cheesecake and then doing the Mentos and Coke thing (featured in this film, incidentally) so you can projectile-puke the stuff you just ate all over your friends who were expecting it and think itu0026#39;s funny. Truly, honestly, thatu0026#39;s the caliber of stuff youu0026#39;re going to subject yourself to for 90 minutes if you insist on watching this.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe movie tries to make fun of Inception, Black Sawn, Evil Dead, etc., but it seems to me that you have to actually be smarter than something if you want to effectively make fun of it. Instead, they should make a movie that makes fun of all the Scary Movie movies. Honestly, they should be pretty easy targets. This movie does not have the minimum level of intelligence required to comment about anything at all. The best it can do is make u0026quot;peeholeu0026quot; jokes and try to get the audience to laugh at monkeys flinging poo at the wall. No, itu0026#39;s really not funny.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eIu0026#39;m racking my brains trying to recall if there was anything at all good about this film. I do remember laughing at a couple of the gags. That sex scene with clowns and ponies was actually somewhat amusing – there, I said it. Iu0026#39;m afraid this review is going to come off the wrong way because it sounds like I refuse to watch stuff that pushes boundaries of good taste. Hardly, man. I even liked Videodrome, which Roger Ebert called u0026quot;nauseating.u0026quot; The real problem is that this film uses boundary-pushing as an excuse to be stupid. In reality, itu0026#39;s about as intelligent as a stoned middle school dropout, incidentally the only type of person I can imagine enjoying this.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI was about to start getting depressed about the state of the world given that this kind of obvious dog dookie is considered entertainment, but it doesnu0026#39;t seem that other people found it all that entertaining either. I watched at least two couples walk out of the theater before the end of the film, so ultimately Iu0026#39;m concluding that thereu0026#39;s probably some reason to have hope about the future of this planet. Thanks, Scary MoVie! Not that thereu0026#39;s anything to be thankful for except that no one actually came up to me and hit me in the head with a shovel while the film was playing. Theyu0026#39;ll probably include that in part six.”


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