No Orchids for Miss Blandish (1948)

No Orchids for Miss Blandish: Directed by St. John Legh Clowes. With Jack La Rue, Hugh McDermott, Linden Travers, Walter Crisham. John Blandish is worth $100 million. His heiress daughter is soon to be wed to Foster Harvey, who believes she’s a cold, unfeeling woman, despite loving her. Her cold emotional state is in large part due to leading a restricted life. A low level thug named Johnny overhears their secret wedding night plans, and peddles the idea of robbing her of the $100,000 worth of diamond jewelry with which she will be adorned to two groups of his gangster acquaintances, who are in competition with each other. The robbery doesn’t go quite according to plan, with Miss Blandish ultimately being kidnapped and held under the eye of Slim Grisson, the heir apparent as head of the violent Grisson gang, currently run by Ma Grisson. Kidnapping holds higher risk but possible greater reward as everyone figures they can get at least $1 million for her. Ma has no plans of letting her go, killing her after getting the money. But a surprise move by Slim, who has a secret past with Miss Blandish, turns the tables on the kidnapping and in turn Miss Blandish’s emotional state. She ends up falling in love with him, and he with her. They know they can’t live in either of their worlds, but even if they can escape together, will there be a future for them together always being on the run from both sides as well as the Grisson’s competitors?

“This British gangster thriller from a sensationalistic American crime novel by James Hadley Chase (also filmed on its home ground in 1971 by Robert Aldrich as THE GRISSOM GANG) is notorious for how awful it is, some claiming it u0026quot;among the worst ever madeu0026quot;, others u0026quot;certainly the most bizarre British filmu0026quot;! This unenviable reputation (which the writer-director could not attempt to alter or otherwise exploit since he would die at age 40 that same year!) has actually turned it into a cult, enabling a R1 SE DVD from VCI.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eHaving been impressed with the Aldrich version and being something of a sucker for bad cinema (especially from this vintage), I acquired the film immediately when the opportunity presented itself though I only got to watch BLANDISH now as part of my ongoing Noir marathon. As often happens, the movie is nowhere near the stinker most claim it to be: granted, the performances are hilariously over-the-top (thus a fount of entertainment in itself!), the would-be American accents do not fool anyone (there is even future u0026quot;Carry Onu0026quot; stalwart Sidney James, for cryinu0026#39; out loud, not to mention a stand-up comic amusingly spoofing the Hollywood double-act of Sydney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre!) and, frankly, the gall of it all makes the experience that much more fascinating, almost hypnotic! u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eIn comparison with the later version (but typical of its era), the leads here are over-age: they are Jack LaRue (the only genuine Yank in the cast: incidentally, he is far removed from the Mamau0026#39;s Boy as played by Scott Wilson in the remake) and Linden Travers (previously noted for supporting parts in spy thrillers like Hitchcocku0026#39;s superb THE LADY VANISHES [1938], she is the personification of elegance rather than Kim Darbyu0026#39;s society brat). Incidentally, both novel and film(s) were criticized for glorifying violence (this is indeed quite brutal for the time) and the notion of u0026#39;Amour Fouu0026#39; since the kidnapped heiress ends up falling for her psychotic captor. Other notable characters are the obese Mob-leading mother (Lilly Molnar), a no-less unhinged member of the gang who becomes involved with the girl who ultimately gives them away (Walter Crisham u0026#39;standing inu0026#39; for Tony Musante), a thuggish cohort (played by Danny Green, later of THE LADYKILLERS [1955]), and a crusading reporter (a much-younger Hugh McDermott u0026#39;replacingu0026#39; Robert Lansing).u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe photography (by Gerald Gibbs) is reasonably atmospheric, smoothing over the general amateurishness on display, and there is another definite asset in its lush score. However, one major difference from the obviously superior remake is the filmu0026#39;s surprisingly downbeat ending. For the record, I recently acquired another rare Hadley Chase adaptation, the French-made FLESH OF THE ORCHID (1975) – co-scripted by Luis Bunuel regular Jean-Claude Carriere!”