Nutcracker Massacre (2022)

Nutcracker Massacre (2022). 1h 26m

“Nutcracker Massacre is sort of half soap opera, and half the worst horror movie youu0026#39;ve ever seen.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eWith the nutcracker being one of the stupidest villains to ever disgrace the screen.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe story revolves around a lead protaganess, who is dealing with her boyfriend having cheated on her with her best friend right before Christmas.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eWith some family drama spun in on top of this, the plot centers on a giant nutcracker that was given to her family as a gift for her first Christmas.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eApparently, this bizarre ornament was discovered by her aunt, and displayed at her home, which the young romance novelist is visiting for Christmas.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eHilariously, though, the people in the film treat him like heu0026#39;s an inanimate object, despite the fact that it is clearly a man in a nutcracker suit, that canu0026#39;t stop swaying around, because the actor playing him is unable to remain motionless, while standing in a stationary position.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eEither way, he seems to want to act to protect the young woman…by murdering everyone who is even remotely associated with anyone who wrongs her in any way.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAt least, that is my best guess…but I might be reading too much into it…as itu0026#39;s not inherently clear.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAs this narrative doesnu0026#39;t exactly explain all the people he attacks and kills.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe whole thing is poorly written and constructed, with bad acting, terrible special effects, and a plot structure so ludicrous, itu0026#39;s almost flabbergasting.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eBut, oddly enough, itu0026#39;s actually engaging enough to sit through.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAt one point the nutcracker inexplicably attacks the boyfriend of the main characteru0026#39;s rival…cracking his nutsack off in the process.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAnd itu0026#39;s at this point that you realize the whole thing is laughingly bad.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe lead actress is the only one who manages to put on a competent performance…but even that is in relation to everyone else in the film, who are absolutely horrible.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eEverything about it is so bad, that I was genuinely wondering how anyone involved in the process of making it, was able to do so with a straight face, and not just break out laughing.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eCause this canu0026#39;t be serious, can it?u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe deeper you get into it, the more entertaining it becomes…simply because it is so ridiculously bad.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eIn the end, I want to say itu0026#39;s one of those so bad, itu0026#39;s good, kind of films.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eBut really, itu0026#39;s just bad.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003e2.5 out of 10.”