The Bikeriders (2023)

The Bikeriders (2023). 1h 56m | R

“Remember that scene in u0026quot;Mad Max: Fury Roadu0026quot; where the one war boy is given Immortan Joeu0026#39;s own pistol, has his teeth chrome-painted and told u0026quot;I will carry you myself to Valhalla!u0026quot; then heu0026#39;s thrown up on the war rig and promptly stumbles and loses the pistol? And Joeu0026#39;s brilliant response, u0026quot;Mediocre!u0026quot; totally deflates the war boy? Thatu0026#39;s what this movie is, except itu0026#39;s the audience that gets deflated by this stumbling mess.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eWhat has happened to Hollywood that nobody can write a decent screenplay anymore? I just donu0026#39;t get it. The acting is fine (especially Jodie Comer – she is a revelation; and Austin Butler is imminently watchable even though he hardly says anything), but there just isnu0026#39;t any meat on this corpse for them to dissect.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThe first few moments of the movie were promising and I felt like, u0026quot;Yeah, throw him up on the rig, go war boy!u0026quot; There are a few really nice shots of cool vintage items with a slick song in the background. It reminded me of Tarantino and my pulse quickened. Unfortunately, that was the only time I was inspired by this at all, because it promptly stumbles and has Austin Butler getting assaulted in a bar for being a biker. Really? This tired cliche? And it never got better.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eA few points to discuss:nTo start with, the bikers in this club wore the u0026quot;1%eru0026quot; patch. I am in no way anything like an expert, but from what I understand that patch was worn by true criminal biker gangs. This movie never ever tells us anything about that aspect or even mentions what the members do for a living if they arenu0026#39;t criminals. In fact, we are not privy to their personal lives except in the most superficial of ways – we donu0026#39;t even see Butler and Comeru0026#39;s characters get married. Where these guys truly criminals? Because this felt exactly like an after-school club they joined to put on their college applications. If they werenu0026#39;t a criminal organization (which the true gang this was based on was), then those guys were in it purely for the love of motorcycles. But that is not communicated at all. Zero love. There are a few moments where the movie gestures toward it, but they are fleeting and far far from passionate or inspired. We are never made to feel that love.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eIn fact, for a movie called u0026quot;The Bikeriders,u0026quot; there is precious little about bikes or riding. I was never once inspired by this movie to go out riding. Never once. No cool shots of them riding, just one chase scene that again, was nothing but a cliche. It doesnu0026#39;t explore whatsoever the ins and outs of being a bike rider in Chicago. We donu0026#39;t see one winter day in this movie – yet it takes place over some ten year time span. What do these bike lovers do when they canu0026#39;t ride? Chicago winters suck. Not a single word about it. They liked to get together and race, but we arenu0026#39;t privy to any of the race ins and outs. Even – and this is a very telling point – Jodie Comeru0026#39;s character mentions the u0026quot;rulesu0026quot; of the gang twice and how all-important they were. We are NEVER told the rules. WTF???u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThis was more uninspired garbage from Hollywood. Passionless, overly cautious, mediocre… like most of everything else from the big studios these days. I was so disappointed. I went home and watched a few late 60s and early 70s biker films on Amazon Prime. One that I really liked was called u0026quot;Angels from Hellu0026quot; – a super b movie that does more in any given five minutes to show the culture of an outlaw biker gang than u0026quot;The Bikeridersu0026quot; did in the whole 2 hours. Even Kathryn Bigalowu0026#39;s first movie u0026quot;The Lovelessu0026quot; is better than u0026quot;The Bikeridersu0026quot; for communicating the mindset of outlaw bikers.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003ePeople compare this movie to u0026quot;Goodfellasu0026quot; and I donu0026#39;t get that at all. There is nothing whatsoever dangerous about this movie. Nothing whatsoever traumatizing. Also nothing whatsoever inspiring.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eI guess Iu0026#39;ll have to watch Fury Road again… this one is more like feeble road. Six stars just for the acting and costumes, but Iu0026#39;d probably go 5.5 if I could.”