Savage Harbour (1987)

Savage Harbour: Directed by Carl Monson. With Frank Stallone, Christopher Mitchum, Karen Mayo-Chandler, Anthony Caruso. A sailor on shore leave meets a troubled woman and promises to marry her on his next leave, but after coming back, he finds that she has disappeared under suspicious circumstances.

“The above is the tag line on the front of the video box. Slight error, it should be u0026#39;together they are awful.u0026#39; Itu0026#39;s Stallone and Mitchum together in this film…sadly, itu0026#39;s Frank Stallone and Chris Mitchum…u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003ePlaying two sailors on shore leave, Frank falls in love with a hooker, who is then kidnapped by her pimp, then itu0026#39;s Frank and Chris to the rescue! Armed only with their mullets, they try and fail to reach the dizzy heights of barely competent in this bad revenge film.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eFranku0026#39;s acting style seems to consist of standing, legs slightly akimbo in a gunslinger stance and trying to look menacing. Frank would probably make a good minor heavy but heu0026#39;s not a leading man. The hookers keep telling him he is u0026#39;cute,u0026#39; as if trying to convince us too. Yes, if you consider a rottweiler to be cute and cuddly.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eYou just havenu0026#39;t seen bad acting till you see Frank trying to emote over the supposed death of the woman he loved. Truly one of the most cringe worthy scenes in cinematic history. Perhaps this is what the video box back cover synopsis means when it says, u0026#39;all-action finale, the likes of which have rarely been seen on the screen.u0026#39; For which we should be truly thankful, I think!! u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAs for Chris Mitchum, he seems to be just along to hang about in the local bar and ogle the dancer in a dull sub-plot about commitment. His father, Robert Mitchum, was never a great actor but he did have that illusive u0026#39;screen presence,u0026#39; that a lot of movie stars possess. His son doesnu0026#39;t have this and is just an okay actor whou0026#39;s role here is just really a supporting one.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eOverall a pretty bad film, full of poor acting, the leading lady actually makes Frank look good at times! Direction is static at best and the script is full of holes, with a credulity defying ending which is just tagged on to give the film a happy ending.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAvoid and spend time on something more interesting, like counting your toenail clippings.”