Zombie Massacre (2013)

Zombie Massacre: Directed by Luca Boni, Marco Ristori. With Christian Boeving, Mike Mitchell, Tara Cardinal, Ivy Corbin. A team of soldiers who are assembled to help end a zombie outbreak in a Romanian town.

“Iu0026#39;m a die hard zombie flick fan, and although I prefer the absolute classics and have probably seen every movie belonging to this genre, I will admittedly sit through any mindless zombie movie in the hopes of finding a hidden gem amongst the horrific (excuse the pun) and endless stream of movies that continue to be released that follow the same old plot lines and use the same old effects.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eThis is my first review, which should give some indication to how much I wanted to express my disgust of this u0026#39;movieu0026#39;. Iu0026#39;m all for the olu0026#39; u0026#39;biohazard dust stormu0026#39; storyline that causes every human in its wake to turn into rotting, caniverous corpses (especially those who move extremely fast as opposed to those lurching slowly across fields at a tenth of the speed of any potential victims), but the fact that the plot line is extremely boring, poorly explained, predictable and full of holes is only a small part of the insult of this film, the main being the absolutely horrible acting of EVERY cast member – Where did they find these people???!!!! And the fact that although the majority of the characters are supposed to be allies and mostly American, there would be at least 12 different accents spread over all of the characters!! If your American President cant even have a passable American accent (in this case the A.P sounds Slovakian or at least of eastern European descent) youu0026#39;re really scraping the bottom layer of the bitumen thats underneath the barrel! You then have the secretary of state who starts off with a u0026#39;Britishu0026#39; accent which even then deteriorates and morphs throughout the film. Apart from the accents, every part and actor is absolutely cringeworthy…. and just when you think it cant get worse…surprise surprise, the characters and their u0026#39;performancesu0026#39; become even more appalling.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eEven the assembly of so called u0026#39;masters of their artu0026#39; (Bomb expert, u0026#39;swordstressu0026#39;, sharpshooter) look as if they havenu0026#39;t even had a minutesu0026#39; training or any experience in their area of mastery, making even the somewhat essential violence thatu0026#39;s really required when making a zombie movie, absolutely comical, ridiculous and laughable in this case.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAfter having written what I have so far, Iu0026#39;m even starting to regret wasting further time on this abomination. The u0026#39;million dollar budgetu0026#39;stated in the fims statistics can clearly be broken down after watching the movie. $998000 has clearly been spent on special effects and making zombies look as disgusting and u0026#39;realu0026#39; as possible (the only tiny amount of positive credit I will pay to this movie) the remaining $2000 was obviously then spent on paying for camera equipment, for the usuage of existing sets, and lunches for the so called u0026#39;actorsu0026#39; and crew who were obviously not payed a thing, but rather, gotten off the street, their incentive for doing the movie being lunch each day, and the opportunity to put u0026#39;I starred in/worked on a C grade movieu0026#39; on their resumés….which Iu0026#39;m sure none of them would do, due to the shame of being associated with such a hideous and insulting film.u003cbr/u003eu003cbr/u003eAn abomination of a zombie movie even by zombie movie abomination standards…….”